


A Little Sideways

by nightfalltwen



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-10
Updated: 2012-02-10
Packaged: 2017-10-30 21:20:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/336287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nightfalltwen/pseuds/nightfalltwen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cedric was never as dead as everyone thought.  All he needed was one person to <i>see</i> him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Little Sideways

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the 2009 **smutty_claus** exchange.

**1995**

"Kill the spare."

Those were the last words that Cedric remembered hearing before the light. Before that green light that hit him square in the chest. He'd not even heard the actual words of the curse, just those three. Kill. The. Spare. To them he was nothing more than fodder to be gotten rid of. He wasn't Cedric Diggory, Hogwarts Champion. He wasn't Cedric Diggory, Hufflepuff Quidditch player. He wasn't Cedric Diggory. He was just a spare. A spare that wasn't needed or wanted.

But funny things happen when you cast spells from wands that aren't truly yours. Funny things happen when you're barely adequate with little to no heart and you cast a spell from a wand that isn't yours. It doesn't happen often, but it happens. Funny things.

Except they're not funny at all. Instead they're the type of things that change the world. They changed Cedric's world forever.

When he opened his eyes all he could see was rolling clouds and for a moment couldn't remember where he was, who he was or why he was outside. The ground was hard under his shoulder blades and when Cedric turned his head, he could see gravestones, turned earth and a red squirrel skittering across the ground looking for seeds. It stopped when it saw him and cocked its head, making a great show of wiping at its whiskers. Cedric sat up.

Like blood rushing to his head, all the memories of the evening before came flying back to his head. Grabbing the cup with Potter, the pull of the portkey, the fog, the high pitched voice.

_Kill the spare._

Cedric flattened his hands against his stomach and slid them up toward his chest where he could feel through the fabric that his heart was pounding and his ribs moving in and out as he breathed. Nothing seemed to make sense. No one survives the Killing Curse. Aside from Potter, but that wasn't something Cedric knew how to explain. And he felt strange, like something was missing somehow. So why had he survived when almost everyone else hadn't?

Pushing himself up, Cedric got to his feet and started looking about for his wand. It wasn't there. It wasn't anywhere. He frowned and glanced beyond the cemetery. 

He had absolutely no idea where he was. Just that it was a valley and there were hills all around. The village below the cemetery reminded him of Ottery St Catchpole. If Ottery St Catchpole was the gloomiest village in all of the United Kingdom. Despite it being late spring and almost early summer, the wind blowing through the valley was cold. Cedric rubbed his arms and started walking toward the road. Without a wand, he was going to have a hard time trying to get back home. Couldn't summon the Knight Bus. Didn't have any money. It hardly seemed likely that he would find his way back to Hogwarts since one couldn't Apparate onto school grounds and he didn't have a wand to do the Apparating in the first place.

Behind him a horn started honking. Cedric turned to see a clunky old lorry meandering down the dirt road toward him. He stepped off the road onto the grassy shoulder and waited for it to pass. Muggles tended to just overlook him and pay him no mind anyway. To his surprise the lorry came to a stop and the driver rolled down the window.

"What on earth are you doing wandering about at this time of the morning, boy?"

"I... uh... " Cedric stumbled over his words. "I was... There was a sporting thing."

The old man raised a very hairy eyebrow. It was quite obvious that he didn't believe the words that Cedric spoke. The driver probably thought Cedric was some sort of crazy person who'd escaped from custody. Yet that didn't stop him from offering a lift. Cedric chalked it up to small town life. Everyone knew everyone and they were much more trusting of strangers. At least that's how he always felt back home.

Lord. How was he going to get home?

###

So. This is what he knew. Cedric was dead. It was an odd experience being dead and alive at the same time. He'd quickly discovered all this upon arriving home. His mum and dad weeping. The funeral. _Seeing_ himself in the casket. Seeing that casket being lowered into the ground. Seeing the dirt covering it. So he was dead. Yet he wasn't. And Cedric couldn't figure out why.

Wizards didn't see him. And it wasn't like the same kind of 'not seeing' that happened when Muggles occasionally caught glimpses of the magical world. Wizards just plain didn't see him. Cedric couldn't touch any one person who was remotely magical. Or at least that's how things seemed to play out. He shouted at his father. Tried to shake him. To Cedric's horror, his hands passed right through Amos' shoulders. He was a ghost to the Wizarding world and yet not even a ghost like the Fat Friar or Nearly-Headless Nick. He was invisible.

Muggles saw him. Said hello and smiled. In the next town over, old Barnard, who was the publican at the Sheep's Wool Inn, took pity on the eighteen year old with no proof of education in the British school system and gave him a job. Cedric slept in the attic and kept his wages in a jar under his bed. He didn't know what to do with all that silly paper currency. He slept. He ate. He grew. He wore out his clothes. He did everything a living person did. Except he was invisible to all the people he knew.

But at least he wasn't starving or homeless.

###

**January 2000**

Years passed and the further he got away from the event in Little Hangleton, the effort at trying to figure this all out grew less and less. Cedric started to adapt. He made friends; he was always good at that. He went to the cinema. He found a little flat and paid for it with fistfuls of pound notes. A friend of a friend of a friend forged some papers for him so he could have proper identification. Cedric didn't like the dishonesty, but he had little other choice. He got a bank account. He learnt to write cheques and even paid his taxes. Now _that_ was completely ridiculous. Yet, it was just something among the varied other things that he did to keep on going. In essence, Cedric Diggory, Hogwarts Champion, _became_ Muggle.

At first it wasn't so easy. He made himself try to contact Dumbledore in some way. The old wizard had to know, had to _see_. The headmaster was always able to see things that weren't always there. And Cedric certainly wasn't there.

It was hard those first couple of years. Cedric made himself take the trip to Hogwarts, even if no one knew he was there. He had to try. But seeing Hufflepuffs with sombre and dark expressions and not being able to comfort them, was excruciatingly painful. For three years he tried. Every year since his so-called death. He watched things unfold. The ghosts didn't see him, or if they did, they never acknowledged him. He saw the formation of Dumbledore's army, saw how angry Potter was at the world. The shouting. Cedric watched Zach Smith argue for answers. To be told what had happened. Cedric had begged Potter, as loud as he could, knowing that it was futile, to not say a word. They didn't need to know.

Cedric became this observer. He hated not being able to help. Cho, dear Cho, crying over everything and trying to grow beyond it. Zach Smith, who had always been like Cedric's little brother, trying to hide just how broken he was over the loss. And no one understanding, just chalking it up to Zach being a strangely caustic Hufflepuff. Cedric hadn't known just how much he had been involved with the people around him until he saw it from the outside.

Then Dumbledore was killed.

Things played out too quickly.

And the war was over.

And Cedric was still lost.

So he tried to move on. He told himself he was just not the person that he used to be and that his new life was this boring Muggle one. Sometimes he'd try to do a little wand-less magic but it never worked for him. He could go into magical places, like Diagon and Hogsmeade, but he couldn't _do_ magic.

"C'mon Ced." Anna kicked her toes against the bar. She'd been sitting in the Sheep's Wool for an hour. "It's _The Cure_. They're launching their eleventh album at the London Astoria. We're all going to go. It's only twenty quid. You _have_ to come with us. You _have_ to."

She'd been working on him the whole hour that she'd been at the bar. One of those regulars that had slowly become his friend over the years. She was a year older than him and curvy in that old renaissance painting type of way. They'd had a couple of good shags but nothing that really amounted to anything. She didn't want a boyfriend and he wasn't looking for a girlfriend. Still they remained friends and slowly he'd been welcomed into her circle.

Which meant when she thought he wasn't being social enough, she found something for him to do.

"You're not going to let up until I say yes, are you?" He wiped a few peanuts that had spilled from the bowl into his hand and dropped them into the bin.

"Absolutely not. It'll be good for you. When was the last time you went into The City anyway? You can't spend the whole rest of your life in Newton Poppleford. You'll go completely barmy and then I won't be able to tell my friends how fit you are because no amount of fit will make up for you being off in the head."

Knowing that Cedric was fighting a losing battle, he agreed to go. Couldn't hurt, could it?

###

**9 February, 2000**

"I'm going to catch up with you guys in a bit," Cedric said, casting a glance across the street at where he knew the Leaky Cauldron was. The rest of the group didn't notice it, but the shop front was so familiar that Cedric couldn't help but feel the pull to go inside and just be a part of it for a little while. He'd not done it in months and months.

"Alright," said Anna, shifting her multitude of bags around in her hands. The proposed overnight trip to London had turned into a three night shopping and _The Cure_ extravaganza before anyone had even realised. Not that any of the other girls had protested. And the blokes were just pleased to be doing an old fashioned pub crawl before the show as well.

"We're just down the street." She prodded him in the chest, an amazing feat considering that her hands had been completely full only moments before. "Don't you duck out on us, Cedric. I'll be very cross."

Cedric laughed and kissed her forehead. "I wouldn't dream of it. You frighten me far too much."

The group departed and Cedric crossed the street and slipped into the Leaky Cauldron. Not a head raised up; he was used to that. The old pub smelt just the way he remembered it. Like stew and smoke. Hags, with their pipes, sat in dark corners and discussed whatever it was that hags were liable to discuss. Old Tom wasn't behind the counter. Instead there was a familiar face. Hannah Abbott. A green apron was tied about her waist and she cheerfully refilled a couple of pints for some younger-looking wizards that were trying to catch her eye.

Not that he blamed them. Hannah had gotten all curvy since the last time Cedric had seen her.

The urge to try and talk to her and ask how she managed to be working at the Leaky was overwhelming. So much so that he decided to attempt to retreat to the Alley. It was tricky. He had to wait for a wizard to come in and tap the right bricks before he could enter. Luckily it didn't take that long this time. The last time he'd visited, he couldn't even remember when now, it had been half an hour before anyone had come in to tap the bricks.

Cedric didn't know why he did this sort of thing. It always made him feel awful. Seeing all the people. Trying to step out of the way even though he knew that they could basically just walk through him. Wanting to shout and scream at people, wanting to ransack the shops until someone stopped him, wanting to sit in the middle of the Alley and just wait for someone, anyone, to fall over him.

He never was that lucky.

But it was like an addiction. No matter how long he went without, he had to do it just _one more time._ He'd never beat it.

Leaning against the wall, Cedric watched the wizards go past. He just wanted to pretend for a moment that he was a part of all this again. It was nice. Busy and full of noises, sights and smells that reminded him of who he used to be.

And then something very strange happened.

Someone waved at him.

At first Cedric thought it was a mistake. But then the girl with the strange mismatched mittens and odd looking necklace waved at him again. He looked to the left and then the right, his heart pounding. After all this time? No it was probably a mistake. But without even realising it, Cedric lifted his hand and half waved back. A bright smile appeared on her face and she made to cross the way toward him.

"Lovegood!" A voice called out, catching her attention away from Cedric. "Oi! Luna!" 

Someone that Cedric actually recognised, the very lanky, very red-headed Ron Weasley, jogged up to her and held out a parcel. Obviously she had forgotten it in one of the shops. Luna Lovegood. Cedric remembered her. From Ottery and from Hogwarts. The quirky little thing whose dad ran _The Quibbler_. The style of dress made sense now. Cedric waited for a moment while she conversed with Ron and then when other man turned away, he pushed himself off the wall. He was going to get to the bottom of this.

Her attention turned back to where he stood, but she looked confused. Glancing up and down the Alley, her shoulders falling in disappointment.

No!

Cedric gawped as she turned slowly and wandered off. No, he was right there! No, she'd just seen him!

He tried following her. Pushing his way through people. It was like his dad all over again. His hands, his body passed through the witches and wizards. And Luna Lovegood stepped into a Floo connection with a sad sort of look on her face, disappearing in a puff of green smoke. Cedric dropped to his knees, wincing when they hit the cold cobble stones. He was solid and yet he wasn't. He was there and yet he wasn't. He was alive and yet he wasn't. He _hated_ this.

When he caught up with his friends as they headed to the London Astoria, Cedric was barely in a mood to enjoy the outing. Anna tried to get him to talk, but he just brushed it off and plastered a semi-smile on his face. He barely remembered The Cure being there or the people around him. Sure it was supposed to be one of those once-in-a-lifetime events that he was supposed to remember for the rest of his life, but all he could think about was the young woman with tousled blonde hair that had waved at him. He had to know if he could recreate it. He had to know if there was a way out.

Or rather, he had to know if there was a way back _in_.

###

**Late Spring, 2000**

Cedric became a man obsessed. It was worse now than it had been in those few years after the Final Task. He was certain beyond a shadow of a doubt that somehow he could make Luna see him again. She'd done so once; she'd waved at him. _At him_. And smiled. And recognised. It had to be repeatable. So in the weeks, soon to be come months, since that one day in London, Cedric followed her everywhere. He worked his shifts at the Sheep's Wool, but spent all of his free time back in Ottery St Catchpole with her. Shouting at her, waving at her, walking in front of her. All in the effort to get her to see him the way that she had seen him back on that miserable day in February

Whether or not any of his mates in the Muggle world noticed, which they did, Cedric didn't put much thought to it. He was certain that somehow he could get this to happen again and he was almost too Hufflepuff to not work at it.

In the time when he wasn't following her around, Cedric picked his brain for memories of her. Of who she was. Of how she was different. He recalled her interaction with Potter and his mates in that Defense club that they'd formed the year after his "death" and he recalled her odd sort of way of looking at things. He recalled how she could see the Thestrals, or so she said. Animals that Cedric still couldn't see because he'd not actually seen death. Just, well, experienced it.

He would stand wiping a spot on the bar for fifteen minutes while he lost himself in thoughts.

"And then I thought, hey... why not join a traveling circus? They'll only expect me to take my kit off on Thursdays."

"You don't say," Cedric said, tossing his cloth into the bar sink.

Anna smacked a bowl of peanuts and it went skittering across the bar. It hit his hand and teetered on the edge of the bar before falling over. Peanuts and old shells went all over the floor. Cedric pulled himself out of memories of some sort of Christmas party with a Professor and Luna wearing a fancy dress and him trying to remember what year it was from. It would have been her fifth?

"What the hell, Anna?!"

"You're absolutely not listening to me, Cedric Diggory." She moved to stand across the bar from him, her hands fisted at her sides, looking more than just cross with him. "What is going on with you? You've been off your nut since bloody February."

Cedric ran his hand through his hair and rubbed at the back of his neck. "It's nothing."

"It's not nothing or you wouldn't be rubbing a hole through the bar every night. This either has something to do with money or something to do with a girl." She peered at him for a long time until he had to look away. "Who is she?"

"She's not anyone!" He paused. "I mean it's nothing. Honest."

"I don't believe that for a second. You're quite probably the only person I know who is almost incapable of lying. Not talking? Oh hell yeah, you do a lot of that. But outright lies? No bloody way. So tell me who she is and why she's got your knickers in a twist."

"You wouldn't believe me," he snapped, feeling grumpy about the whole situation.

"Try me," she said, crossing her arms. "I'd like to think that I know you pretty well. And I've seen just about everything, so I doubt that you could surprise me."

Cedric angrily chucked his cloth into the sink behind the bar. "Oh yeah? How 'bout I start with the fact that I'm dead."

###

**Mid-Summer, 2000**

Luna sat at a picnic table in the middle of the town park in Ottery St Catchpole. In one hand she had a large peach and a dribble of juice running down the side of it toward her wrist. In the other, she had a paperback novel, butterflied between her fingers. Her legs were crossed, one over the other and the skinny strap of her sundress had fallen off her shoulder in that unassumingly distracting way. Her one leg bounced against the other as she turned a page, not lifting her head when she was joined by a young man with dark hair.

He ran his finger under the strap of her sundress and put it back into place, then kissed her cheek.

"I find Muggle novels to be so close at getting things right, and yet so far off the mark," she said, folding a corner and closing the book. She set it aside and licked the sticky drop of peach juice off the side of her hand. "But I can't help myself and read anything they publish because their fantasies are so entertaining. I've missed you, Kevin."

The young man smiled and slid onto the seat opposite Luna. "Ollivander had me working late almost every night this week. He's keen on having me really understand how wands are created and how they can have mates just like shoes."

"Mr Ollivander is a lovely man," Luna remarked, finishing her peach and tossing the stone toward the trees. She reached across the table and traced her fingertip over the side of his hand from his pinky finger toward his wrist. "I'm glad you are lucky enough to study wandmaking with him. I shall stop by next week for a visit. Perhaps on Tuesday. Tuesdays are always good for visits."

Kevin inhaled sharply, his eyes dropping down to follow the path her finger was taking. A smile played on his lips. "You know... your house isn't terribly far from here," he said to her; his hand stilled hers.

"Only one hundred and ninety seven steps," she replied. Her cheeks were flushed.

"Even shorter if we apparate." Kevin got off the picnic table bench and held out his hand to her.

A laugh bubbled up in Luna's throat and she slid her hand into his. "You always were a very clever Ravenclaw," she noted with a wide smile. "I like that about you."

Kevin's laugh almost echoed across the park. "I'd be a poor addition to the House if I wasn't clever at all. I'm glad you appreciate it."

Getting to her feet, Luna glanced over her shoulder once and then back to the young man whose hand she had lightly clasped in her own. "I appreciate a lot of things. One day I should tell you about appreciating the things that one does not see."

He tugged her close and leaned down to whisper something in her ear that made her blush.

No one else in the park noticed when they vanished. Children continued to play footie and a stray dog chased after a squirrel. A couple of old Muggle men played chess on one of the stone tables, pulling up memories of that village in France during the war with those leggy French maids. A couple of new mums, walking side by side with their prams, debated the best type of nappy. It was all sort of mundane and they didn't notice the young pair just vanish or that something magical had just happened right under their noses. Not that they were supposed to. Muggles weren't all that observant and anything strange got shrugged off.

Cedric looked down at his hands and clenched them tightly into fists. He'd not been prepared for this strange sort of emotion that now rolled around inside his chest. For months she'd been alone and this was just fine because he could visit and try to get her to see him and didn't feel all that much like he was invading her privacy. 

Somewhere along the line she'd found herself a bloke. A fellow Ravenclaw. And it made this strange pang of jealousy catch under his ribs. Jealousy that he really had no right feeling because it wasn't as if she knew he was there. And yet he felt it. He felt it because before all this, before this day and that picnic table and the way she was eating that peach and the laughter that so easily tumbled from her lips. Before all that, she almost felt like something that was uniquely his. Him. She had seen him.

And the event hadn't repeated itself since.

Maybe Anna was right when she told him that he was obsessing over something that might not really have happened. The whole magic thing, and him being dead and yet not, had confused her. She'd taken his explanation, however, with a grain of salt (or so she said) and offered a shoulder for him to lean on. She'd even proposed to go and find Cedric's parents and explain everything. Cedric had firmly refused to let her do just that. It would destroy his mum and dad. They'd think she was playing a trick and even if they did believe her, it would break their hearts all over again to know that they'd had him around the last five years and just never been able to see him.

No. No it was better if his parents didn't know about this.

Something hit his ankle, drawing him out of his thoughts and into the present. He looked down at the white football and then toward the kids who were waving their arms and calling for him to kick it back. The wizarding world felt more distant now than it ever had. Cedric needed to give it up and really realise that this was all folly.

He knocked the ball with the side of his foot and gave the boys a little salute as it rolled across the grass back to them and shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans, heading off.

###

**23 December, 2000**

"Are you sure you're going to be alright?" Anna asked as she pulled her car onto the shoulder. "You've been doing so well since the summertime."

Cedric released his seatbelt and reached over his shoulder to pull up the door lock. This trip at Christmas was one thing he was not about to give up. Even prior to all his attempted interactions with Luna Lovegood, he always sought out his family at Christmas. It was hard. Looking from the outside in and knowing that the holidays would never be the same. But it was a habit. And it was his family. He glanced over at Anna and tugged his gloves on.

"I'll be fine. It'll just be for a few days and then I'll be back." He pushed open the door, ignoring the irritable dinging that sounded because the door was ajar. "Family's family, yeah? Even if they can't see me."

He stood on the side of the road after watching her turn about in the road and head back to Newton Poppleford. Once her taillights had disappeared from view, he started to walk into the village. It was your typical quaint country village. Thatched roof houses, dusted with snow and garlands of holly and lights in every shop front and wreaths on every door. When doors opened, he could hear carols being played on speakers inside the individual buildings. Muggles tipped their hats and wished him Happy Christmas. Cedric dropped a few pound coins into a charity tin without even knowing what charity it was. The season always seemed to bring out the best.

Instead of seeking out the Diggory residence, Cedric wandered through town and eventually found himself on a small bridge over the River Otter. He leaned on the railing and looked down into the icy water, recalling a time when he used to play a game with the Muggle neighbours that involved dropping a stick on one side of the bridge and racing across to see whose came out first. At the time he'd not understood the significance of it. But it was fun. And sometimes, just sometimes, he could will that stick to move a little faster. Before he could really control his magic properly.

Running his hand through his hair, Cedric combed out the snow that had started to stick to it, flicking the wet blobs into the water below.

"I wondered if that one time back in February had been my imagination," a soft voice spoke from beside him.

Cedric froze, barely breathing and looked down at the pair of unmatched mittens that gripped the railing beside him. His heart started to race because he knew that voice. He _knew_ that voice because he'd listened to it for months. His mouth fell open and nine million questions clamoured to be asked first. His eyes shifted to where she stood, but he dared not make any sudden movements. She was staring straight ahead, a soft sort of look on her face. Cedric gulped for air, his whole body shuddering.

"Relax," she said, not looking at him. "I think you exacerbate the problem when you try too hard, which is why I didn't see you after February."

"I don't understand," Cedric looked straight ahead, trying not to try too hard.

"Just don't move," Luna said. "Right now, I see you best when I'm looking sideways with my peripheral vision. You kind of flutter. On the edge of seeing and not seeing."

"Do you even know who I am?" he asked incredulously. "I didn't know who you were. Not really, I mean. At first. Only that you'd seen me."

She chuckled and reached over to squeeze her mitten-clad hand over his. Touch. For the first time in over five years he felt the touch of another magical person. It baffled him. Why was she so special? Why was this happening? It made no real sense to him, but he let her touch him because she initiated it and made no move to return the touch because he was almost too afraid that it would disappear. Or he would disappear. Or worse, he would wake up and this would all be just a dream.

"I don't think there's a wizard in this village who doesn't know who you are, Cedric Diggory," she said thoughtfully.

They stood there in the snow, talking for god knows how long. Neither one of them turning their head to look at the other. Cedric relished in the fact that she was there and that this continued on as long as it had. Whatever sort of power she had, he hoped it didn't go away. He told her about travelling to Hogwarts the three years after his 'death' and watching everything happen, unable to do a thing about it. She mentioned the fact that she thought she'd felt him there a few times. Perhaps the strongest had been during a Quidditch match between Slytherin and Gryffindor that she had commented on with Zacharias Smith and how poorly everyone thought of him now.

Cedric explained that Zach had a lot of outside influences, especially with his father and grandfather to cause things to go down they way they had. She made little understanding noises and for some reason Cedric thought she had happily forgiven Zach for the choices he'd been forced to make. Easily as that.

Chancing a sideways glance, Cedric lifted an eyebrow. "So how are things with that Kevin bloke?"

Luna laughed. "Kevin Entwhistle and I parted ways some time ago. So that wasn't just my imagination either," she stated. "I thought maybe you were there. It was the last day I remember really feeling like you were watching me."

Heat radiated from Cedric's cheeks and beneath all that was a strange sense of relief. "I wasn't watching you," he protested, but his shoulders sagged. "Oh alright. I was watching you, but only because I thought somehow I could get what happened at Diagon Alley happen again." He rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably. "You don't know what it's been like to be this cut off. I mean... I'm dead, yeah?"

She moved then. Slowly, of course. So as not to break whatever spell had been woven. Cedric watched her hand leave his and travel up his arm. With gentle pressure she somehow managed to turn him so that his back was to the railing of the bridge, her hand still moving up toward his shoulder. Cedric closed his eyes, murmuring to himself to not disappear. Please don't disappear. Please. His breath was coming in short ragged gulps.

"Open your eyes, Cedric," she said, her voice so very close to his ear.

He shook his head. "It's going to kill me if this ends."

"Oh I don't think it will," she said. "I think seeing you, touching you and knowing you're not as dead as we were all lead to believe... I think it'll change everything."

It was then that he felt her warm lips touch his icy cheek. It surprised him so much, that his eyes popped open and the turned his face toward hers without thinking. The movement was so fast that she didn't have a hope of pulling back enough and his mouth touched hers. There was a spark or a jolt and he didn't understand where it had come from. All this time, the months and months, it had only been because she was the one person he thought could see him. Or so he thought. Inhaling sharply, Cedric leaned a little closer and increased the pressure of his mouth against hers. Her lips parted and he could almost taste her smile. Peppermint. Peppermint and chocolate.

He placed his hands on her shoulders, overwhelmed by the fact that they were solid under his touch. He pushed her very gently until there was enough space between them that he could think without his eyes crossing. "This is crazy. I shouldn't be doing this. I could disappear tomorrow."

"You have so much doubt, Cedric Diggory," Luna said with a smile, her mitten touching his cheek.

"It's happened before," he replied.

"So? Just believe it won't change." She tilted her head. "It's like that Muggle story about the boy who didn't grow up. And his little faerie that almost died. Muggles are so _imaginative_ , don't you think? I've always thought so. But it's just like that story. If you believe in something then it can exist. Clap your hands and faeries live. I believe in many things that others do not. I believe in crumple-horned snorkacks and heliopaths and wrackspurts and nargles. I'm happy you're alive. So I will believe that you are here to stay."

Cedric let out a shaky breath. "More people believe that I am dead. Hell. _I_ believe that I am dead."

"You have to look at the world a little sideways, Cedric Diggory," Luna replied thoughtfully. "See things, like yourself, at the very edge of things. And I like you. So perhaps that has something to do with it."

"But you hardly know me," he protested.

"I knew who you were the moment you appeared in Diagon Alley." 

Cedric wanted to understand all of this, wanted to understand why this little Ravenclaw had held out so much hope for him. Wanted to understand why all of this was happening. Wanted to understand why the hairs were sticking up on the back of his neck. Why his body was thrumming with excitement at her touch. Wanted to understand how this could be so sudden. Yet if he let himself actually think about it, he'd been so determined to cross her path for a reason that must have been beyond just getting her to see him.

"Christ," he muttered and made the decision that if he _was_ going to disappear, it wouldn't be until after he let things go about as far as they could.

He let go.

Luna made a little squeak of a noise when he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. His mouth met hers and for the second time in years blessed _magic_ crackled through him. She was willowy and small but she fit against him perfectly. Cedric kissed her like he'd never kissed anyone before. Tumbling down into the sheer feeling of it like he was lost down the rabbit hole. She would be the death of him. The real death of him. And it seemed like he didn't care a bit.

Somewhere along the line her fuzzy hat fell off into the snow behind them. The only reason Cedric registered this fact was because his hands were tangling in her hair. He couldn't breathe, he couldn't speak. He didn't want to do either. He was completely lost in the kiss. And then. Then her mouth opened to his. Cedric's entire _self_ skipped a beat and blood pooled down below his waist making him light-headed. Her tongue tangled with his and her arms flung themselves around his shoulders.

It took all his resolve and willpower to pull back. Every cell in his body protested. He was dizzy and he had to lean against the bridge railing to keep himself from falling over.

"Come back to the house with me," she said, looking up at him.

This was mad. Utterly mad.

But Cedric didn't have the willpower to say no.

###

She kept hold of him, her hand wrapped around his as they walked and he could hear her counting the steps they took under her breath. Inside the Lovegood house was warm and Cedric watched her kick her shoes off in the corner, slowly unwrapping the scarf from her neck and hanging her mittens on hooks on the wall. She left her hat, which hadn't been forgotten, hooked on an umbrella and looked toward the sitting room just off the hall from the front door.

"Daddy," she called out. "I'm taking a boy up to my bedroom."

Cedric almost choked on his own tongue. But before he could say anything, a voice spoke from the other room.

"Make sure there are spells on the walls and that you've checked under your bed for nargles, dear."

Luna smiled and tugged Cedric toward the stairs. He was still boggling at the idea that she was perfectly comfortable 'taking a boy up to her bedroom' while her father was still in the house. It was almost enough to make him back out. Almost enough to stop him from taking that first step up the stairs. Almost enough to... Then she hooked a finger in his belt loop and tugged, a somewhat cheeky sort of look on her face.

"Be alive with me, Cedric Diggory," she said, her voice low and an expression on her face that said more than words ever could.

All potential protests melted away.

Her room was an astonishing surprise, decorated in artwork on every exposed place. It was like stepping into the middle of a collage of people. Pictures that moved and pictures that were pencil-drawn. He dropped his coat over a chair and did a slow turn to have a look at it all. A smile played on his face when he spotted a picture of her and Zach Smith standing beside each other in the Quidditch announcing booth. He wondered if she was still friends with him or if this was just to remind her of the events. Then above her desk he saw something that surprised him. Drawings. Drawings of _him_. Life-like and yet, just the very edge of his face as if she drew it out of...

"The corner of your eye?" he asked gesturing to the pictures.

"Oh goodness yes." Luna came over and leaned on the desk, pointing at one. "This was the first one I drew. Back in fourth year. Most people don't believe me when I talk about things that others cannot see, so I didn't mention you. Diagon Alley was the first time I'd seen you outside of my periphery. It was lovely. And then you went away."

Cedric boggled. That she'd been seeing him for years was a shock and quite suddenly his knees felt like jelly. He stumbled over to her bed and sat down. This was almost too much to take in at once. He looked at her helplessly. "I tried so hard."

"I know, Cedric Diggory," she said and came over to perch on his lap, sliding a finger down his temple and tucking a bit of hair behind his ear.

"Luna... I... " For the first time in a long time he felt a bit flummoxed as to what he should do. "Do you think there are more like me?"

"Perhaps. But I only saw you."

"What am I supposed to do?" he asked, his hand finding her knee and just sitting there.

"For starters you could move your hand a little higher." She sounded like she was discussing a classroom assignment.

Cedric almost had to laugh. "Well I know about _that_ part. I'm just a little... Well it's kinda sudden, yeah? We've only been talking for a few hours."

Luna cupped her hand against his cheek and turned his face towards her. She was very close and he could feel almost every inch of her even though just small areas were touching him. This was very, very new to him. Girls had always just sort of been, well, girls that he could have fun with or one offs. This was different. Somehow. Some _way_ he was connected to this one. How that happened, he wasn't sure. And if this all ended in the morning, if the spell broke, why not take advantage of it now?

The next thing he knew she was leaning close to his ear. "I don't think you know what it is like to be in love with someone that you couldn't see proper or touch."

Cedric gulped. Oh yes he did, a voice shouted in the back of his head which caused his stomach to drop in a strange sort of surprise. "Why me?"

"Why not you?"

"And that Kevin bloke?"

A half smile appeared. "I _am_ only human."

"This is mad," he said, but didn't have any feeling behind it because her lips were so close to touching his.

"Then we can be mad together," she whispered and found his hand, guiding it up under her jumper. "All teacups and dormice, flamingo croquet and caterpillars that smoke from hookahs."

He wanted to explore the whole idea that there might have been love involved. That perhaps he'd just not been able to see it or perhaps that might be the reason she was so special. He wanted to broach his own feelings, that pang of jealousy when he'd seen her with Kevin and not been able to do anything about it. But he was almost afraid to even say anything in response. So he didn't. All those times he'd begged her to see him. The pull he always felt. He didn't know if it was love. Or at least he hadn't thought it was love a the time. But maybe that was how love sometimes worked.

Cedric inhaled sharply, his fingers expecting to come in contact with the fabric of her bra and finding only flesh. His temperature went up by five degrees.

There once was a time when Cedric thought himself very controlled when it came to his sexual libido. He figured it came from talking to so many pretty birds that came into the pub and keeping himself from leaping over the bar to tackle them with his mouth. There was a time when he thought there was no possible way he would ever lose it in his trousers or ever come close to that scenario.

And it wasn't that she was being overtly sexual. There were no whispers and crude words. Begging or grinding or anything like that. No. She just held his wrist, pushed it higher until he touched the curve of her breast, his fingers sliding over her nipple.

It all slipped away from him at that point.

He didn't want to rush this. If this was a temporary state between them, he didn't want to rush it. But sometimes situations like the one he was in just cannot be helped. Something else took over entirely. He wanted to touch her. Touch her more. Know her. Be with her. It was overwhelming and yet it wasn't. So he just let things happen in the manner that they were happening.

The first thing that went were the clothes. It was a flurry of fabric and he was certain his boxers ended up somewhere on the dresser. His trousers near the door.

Touching her skin was almost like magic itself. The thought made him groan at its ridiculousness. And as it flitted through his head, Cedric was glad that he'd not said it aloud. He didn't want her to think he was some sort of emotional twerp that had to stop and talk about how wonderful everything was. He _did_ think it was wonderful. The way her fingers danced across his bare chest or the way her chest rose and fell with every breath. But talking about it? During? He was not the type.

Lowering his head, Cedric kissed her neck. He wanted his mouth all over her; he wanted her mouth all over him, but both at once just seemed a little awkward and he was just revelling in the fact that when he tried to touch her he was met with the resistance of her own body.

A soft sigh escaped from her as he kissed his way down her front, stopping to brush his lips across one nipple and then the other before darting out his tongue to slide across them. Luna arched her back in such a delicate way that he almost wanted to sit back and look at her. A smile played on his lips. He wondered what the envelope was on all of this. He didn't know what she liked or what she didn't like.

She just seemed to be content letting him explore.

And explore he did.

His hand slid down her side toward her hips, fingertips walking their way over the bump of her hipbone and he shifted to the side to just let them walk right across her lower abdomen to the opposite hip, teasing instead of delving down further. It made her moan. It made his breath catch. The touches had been tame thus far and yet they were still powerful enough that part of him was aching impatiently.

Walking his fingertips back, Cedric leaned up and kissed her. Nipping once at her lower lip and once at her upper lip before delving into her mouth with the tip of his tongue. She still tasted like peppermint and chocolate and he couldn't help but kiss her deeper because of it, their teeth knocking together just a little and her tongue pushing back against his in a little battle for dominance.

Without warning, Luna's hand curled around his wrist to stop his walking fingers. Cedric lifted his head and his eyes met the smile in hers.

He let her direct him. She knew better than he how her body would react. Though he did have an idea of what happened most of the time. His fingertips slipped against her wet flesh and he inhaled sharply. She made a sound that would probably replay itself in his head for years to come. A cross between a sigh and a moan and a squeak. Curling his fingers, he took initiative and pressed them into her, his thumb finding and circling around the bundle of nerves he'd learned long ago would cause almost any woman to shake.

"Oh," she said and it almost sounded like a surprise; her body fluttered around his delving fingers. Cedric thought his eyes would cross.

Oh, indeed.

His thumb pressed a little harder and circled just a bit faster. Her hand was still on his wrist, tightening to a point where he was certain that there would be little half-moon nail marks once this was all said and done. Cedric watched her face and how her eyes were pinched shut. He lowered his head to her breast and pulled her nipple into his mouth, biting gently. The sound that came from her was almost enough to make him come right then and there without even doing anything else. And if that didn't do it, and if the rocking of her hips didn't, the sharp gasp and spasm of her body around his fingers was the closest he came to losing control.

Life was funny sometimes. He didn't expect to have any of this happen. But he sure as hell wasn't sorry that events were unfolding as they were.

Luna stretched cat-like and pushed his shoulder so that he lay back on the bed. She swept her hair to the side and peppered his face and neck with kisses, moving down his chest and stomach, stopping to nuzzle her nose against his navel. He knew where she was heading and while he didn't particularly object to the idea of a girl getting him off that way, he didn't want her to think that she had to. Catching her shoulders with his hands he stopped her and urged her up instead of down.

It was crudely silly to ask her if he could just fuck her. That wasn't what he was thinking that this was. And he didn't want to say 'I wanna be inside you, babe' or something equally ridiculous. Luckily she seemed to take the hint without him having to say so and she straddled his hips, looking down at him through a curtain of tangled hair. A smile played on her lips and her hand found his erection holding it loosely.

All this time he'd thought that he only wanted to be seen. 

And her body around him, warm and tight and flexing was doing so much more than just letting him know that he'd been seen. Even if he didn't have any magic left in his body, the little jolts that shot up his spine certainly felt as close to his old wizard self as he'd ever felt. Then. Then she started to move. And that changed everything.

One of his hands reached up and cupped against her cheek. Luna caught his thumb between her teeth and bit it gently before releasing it, her eyes closing as she rose and fell against him. His other hand slid up her thigh and over her arse, squeezing it. Things moved fast. He wasn't prepared for how intense it was going to feel. Oh he'd had sex before. More time than he could count. He wasn't ashamed to admit that the first times had been short lived. It took experience to control himself. And right then and there he felt like a teenage boy, unable to do anything but pray for it to last.

"Let go, Cedric," she said in that airy sort of way of hers.

"Can't," he ground out through clenched teeth.

"Yes you can." There was a smile in her voice.

"Then it'll be over."

"Perhaps. Or just beginning."

She did something then, he wasn't sure what. A movement or perhaps a shift in the angle of her hips. But something changed and the friction increased and it wasn't long before he bucked his hips up with a shout, his whole body turning inside out. Or that's what he thought it felt like. Pulsing and inside out and boneless and everything else that went into the most brilliant orgasm he'd ever experienced. It felt like something flickered inside him. Very briefly. He didn't know. All he knew was that she was there and he was there and maybe it was already Christmas or maybe it was New Years. Or, hell, it could be bloody St. George's Day and he wouldn't care in the slightest. He was too far gone.

Luna leaned down and folded her arms across his chest, resting her chin against her hands. "I don't suppose next time you'll let me be underneath?"

Cedric groaned, his body still reeling from the release. He nodded, his brain barely functioning. Though there was a thought somewhere in there, perhaps actually floating above him, that nudged to say that there might not be a next time. But he wasn't about to voice that. Instead he just wrapped his arm around her and kissed her like it was the end of everything.

Maybe it was.

###

Cedric was terrified in the morning. First, because when he opened his eyes he didn't exactly know where he was or why there were pictures of Potter, Weasley and others that he could remember from Hogwarts staring down at him. Once he figured out why, the fact that they were all painted on her ceiling, the second reason he was terrified came over him. She was sleeping to his left and there was a small bit of space between them. Cedric wasn't sure what to do. If everything had gone back to the way it was before. After the brilliant night he'd just spent shagging an equally brilliant witch. If that all vanished, he'd die inside.

So he was terrified to touch her.

And he stared uncomfortably at the young faces of Potter and the others looking down at him.

He felt the bed shift with her as she started to wake and everything in Cedric's body tensed. He waited for her to ask where he was. He waited for her to reach for him and not find him. He waited for her to stop running her finger along his arm.

Wait.

Back up.

Snapping his head to the side, Cedric looked at her. His spirits rose through the roof and he smiled. "I can feel that."

"I should hope you can." She returned his smile, her finger still drawing lines up and down his arm. "I think what you needed was an open mind."

He didn't know what she meant by that. If she meant his mind or her mind. He didn't rightly care all that much. Instead he just watched her fingertip move up and down. Her wonderful finger with the ink stain on the knuckle. Even if it turned out that she was the only person in the wizarding world who saw him, it was enough.

She pulled back and got out of bed; Cedric tried not to groan too loud at the sight of her naked bum swaying back and forth as she strolled toward the wardrobe. She put on a dressing gown that had flamingos all over it then came over to his side and held out her hand to him. "Breakfast then? Daddy makes the best porridge."

Cedric took her hand. He didn't know what exactly to make of her or why this had all come to be. Maybe it was love, maybe it was something else, maybe he loved her and that's why it all worked out. Maybe it was just an attraction. There were a lot of maybes involved in all of this. It used to be that Cedric didn't care much for maybes, but he was starting to warm up to the idea of unknown reasons for things.

And this was absolutely one of them.

###


End file.
